Kicking and Screaming

The church nursery right before service started used to be a place of fear and delight for our kids when they were small. When we dropped them off they were apprehensive, but then turned around to see the fun that awaited them and all was right in the world again.

The picture was very different for many other children. As they screamed with their arms outstretched, and the nursery teacher's arms grasped around their tummies to pull them into the toy and child-filled room, you could see the pain on the parents' faces as they turned to leave for the church service awaiting them.

This strange dynamic still amazes me. The child reaching for his parents. The parents turning away, knowing the pain their child was in. Their comfort came in knowing that their child would soon be enjoying life with his friends.

From the child's perspective, he initially couldn't imagine life would ever be the same if his parents left him right then. He fought with every inch of his being - kicking and screaming. The teacher gently pulled him back to redirect his attention. However, until that child submitted to the life awaiting, he will continue to be in fear, ignighting that "fight or flight" reaction. His only hope was to trust that if he let go and resigned himself to the fact that his parents still loved him but would be gone. Once he engaged in the life that is right in front of him, it would be hard to stop.

This morning, I realized that I am that child right now, kicking and screaming, refusing to let go of yesterday. I haven't completely submit myself to the life in front of me today, right now. I am committing to and praying that God will give me the heart to bring my grasping arms down to my side, calm my heart, and embrace the life he has blessed me with that is right before me.

If the time comes that God comes to us with a new direction for our lives, I believe we will find this place to be as hard to leave as the nursery becomes to the child after the service is over and his parents tell him it's time to go home.